Blog Directoryrelationships is to try to understand what is really
going on...What if you could suddenly realize that
your guy is not fighting the fight you think he is...
He's not really fighting you...
The last time my husband came home as bristly as a
porcupine bitching about one thing and then another,
like for instance "I can't find anything in this house,"
instead of asking if his black sweatshirt was in the
laundry... which would usually have led me to answer
in a belligerent voice "when do you ever put anything
where it belongs?" and from there it could build up to
a royal fight!
This last time, I sat down at the kitchen table...
held my face in my two hands...breathing deeply in and
out... in a matter of two, three minutes I started to
feel peaceful inside and when I looked up, he was
looking at me with a worried or maybe a puzzled look...
When I said "I don't want us to fight honey" it seemed
that the peaceful feeling I had mustered inside me was
oozing out into the little kitchen...Peter sank into
the other chair, looking deflated...the bluster all
gone...he rubbed one hand through his hair and mumbled
something about having had a tough day... I reached
a hand across the table and he squeezed it...
So maybe you're thinking why should I back off when he's
verbally attacking me? Why should it always be me backing
off? I don't think it's a matter of backing off... it's
more than that...It's been there for one another...
When a guy and a girl first meet they usually start to be
attracted physically... he thinks she's the kind of woman
he would like to hold and make love to and you respond
partly because you're flattered by his attention and
because you like the kind of guy he appears to be...
As your relationship progresses and you grow to understand
one another more and more, there probably are occasions
where one of you needs some loving understanding and
support from the other one that would be different from
the passionate lovemaking you enjoy most of the time...
We all need to have at least one person in the world
we cancount on for understanding and support...it is
assumed that every child gets that kind of love from
his/her mother no, I'm not saying that you would be
taking over the role of the understanding mother,
but on the days where everything seems to have gone
wrong do you want him to come to be held and comforted
by you or do you want him to go to mom?or someone else?
And of course, you know that sooner or later you'll get
your share of hurt and bad luck when you'll need to be
held and comforted.
Going back to the matter of who backs off in an argument,
many couples don't know how to discuss a point without
becoming personally hurtful... too many of those explosive
sessions lead to door-slamming break-ups and bitter regrets.
In The Magic of Making Up
TW Jackson says:
"But once you know and UNDERSTAND and are
given just a little guidance on what to do and
when to do it…it's like being handed "the recipe"
for love if you will…Because not only will you be
able to get your lover back, but also you will be
much better equipped to KEEP HIM long,
long into the future.
Isn't that great news?"
In a close relationship of heart, mind and soul partners
learn to sense one another's need for support and comfort
and choose to wage peace. No man or woman in their right
mind wants to leave a partner who cherishes and values them.
Having The Magic of Making Up on hand will help anyone solve their relationship problems and
maybe help a friend too.
